Clean(s)ing House

Wednesdays are awesome for me.  They’re the days I get to wake up late, lounge around all day in my underwear (if that), eat and drink whatever I goddamn want whenever I goddamn want, and take long-ass showers in the dark like my bathroom is a sensory deprivation chamber.  Why?  Because I work from home those days, and not being in the office lets me get a lot done at home and gives me more time to take care of my own affairs.

Over the past Mercury Retrograde period (which ended, like, just now), things were crazy.  I had a trip happen every weekend, my phone died after gravity and toilets conspired against me (how shitty!), I gained some extra weight from eating on the go and overeating too often, and my entire practice pretty much fell apart at the seams.  It’s been nice, though, as a break and distraction, but now it’s time to get things back in order, and it’s time to clean house.  Let’s start with that literally, because my house is getting pretty dusty.

Why bother with cleaning a house as a magician?  Because cleanliness is next to godliness.  Duh.  Not to mention that it makes things easier to find, if you’ve got a lot of occult wares, and that it keeps what you have and use in good condition, but also because things just feel better.  When you live cleanly and organizedly, things fall into place more often, and if your physical environment is a reflection of your mental state, then busting out the vacuum and dustrags is a sign that you’ve got work and Work to do.

But, as a magician, I’ve also got to take care of higher matters, and since my home is my temple, my physical environment really does affect my mental and spiritual states more than just being able to wear clothes that aren’t wrinkled or dusty.  Things get drawn in, things get stuck, and things get infested.  It sucks, and when that happens you know it’s time to bust out the holy water and go to town on the place.  I used to take an asperger and simply splash holy water around my house, and that works perfectly.  However, as I gained some more supplies, I regularly put together a small amount of a special cleansing solution I use around my house.  It hasn’t failed me yet, and it leaves the whole place smelling fresh and vibrant, not to mention leaving the place feeling the same.  Without further ado, I present to you the recipe and method for making and using Polyphanes’ Cleansing Potion:

  • 8 oz spray bottle
  • 1/4 tsp lemon ammonia (to get rid of the really nasty shit)
  • 10 drops Banish And Cleanse oil (to wipe off and out anything that shouldn’t be there)
  • 10 drops Uncrossing oil (to remove any buildup or residue of anything bad happening or done at you)
  • 10 drops Van Van oil (to clear out anything bad, turn bad things to good, opens new doors, and gives good luck)
  • 10 drops 7-11 Holy Oil (to purify, sanctify, and bless the home)
  • Holy water (to banish, cleanse, clean, and protect, as well as being a base for everything else)
  1. Mix ammonia and oils together in the spray bottle.
  2. Top off spray bottle with holy water.
  3. Wash yourself with holy water beforehand to cleanse yourself.
  4. If you’re cautious or have a lot going on normally, give the friendly spirits in your home a place to hide or a general leave to depart so that they can be invited back later.
  5. Spritz around the house, back to front, saying “ΑΠΩ ΑΠΩ ΠΑΝΤΟΣ ΚΑΚΟΔΑΙΜΟΝΕΣ” or “ABI ABI ESTI PROFANI” or something to that effect.
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3 thoughts on “Clean(s)ing House

  1. Nice! I’ll have to give that a try. My current spiritual cleansing solution combines both the physical spiritual cleansing. It is basically pine-sol with “VanVan Extract” (essential oil components of VanVan oil) diluted with water and empowered. ;) For personal cleansing I tend to dilute a few drops of laundry bluing, ammonia or florida water, and salt in a pitcher of water and bathe with it.

  2. I recently did some spring cleaning as well. The gods are spirits are so happy when thier place is neat and tidy, and moving into the home also helps so well, and feels so good.

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